The Addiction

Hi, my name is Carli Chesebro and I'm an addict.  An addict of what you ask? I'm addicted to signing up for races.  Yep, thats me.  I must be crazy, but I can't help it. I see an announcement for a run and I can't help myself.  I'm running in three races over the next 6 weeks. Two 10k's and one ten miler. I was going to do a half marathon but I was worried I wouldn't be able to get enough training in before the race at the end of the year.
What is it about running that I love? Well I'm not entirely sure. I can tell you I hate the first mile. Not just sometimes, but every single run. I go through what I call the Gollum/Smeagol phase on every run.  It usually starts just before I take off Smeagol: "We're excited, we can't wait to run". A few minutes in Gollum: "We hates this! Our legs hurt, we can't breath. Why are we doing this???". Smeagol: "No! We loves running", Gollum: "No we don't! We hates it!!!". This continues for the first 15 minutes (aka mile one). And then suddenly I find my steady race pace and I just go into cruise control.  My legs propel me forward and I forget about everything else.  When I finish whether its a 2 mile or a 6 mile I feel amazing and can't believe how quickly the time went.
If only I could learn to love mile one........

The Presidential Circus

With the election less than a week away I can't help think "what's going to happen to America?"
As a child and even through my early 20's  didn't really care much about the election. sure I read up on candidates and voted based on whose views I more closely agreed with but I never gave much thought about it other than that.
When I first heard Trump was running for president I laughed and even said to friends "there is no way he will win", "it's a joke", "it's a Democratic ploy to make sure Republicans don't take back the white house". But here we are 6 days away from elections and I'm thinking "is Trump really going to be our next president?".
It's true no president gets to make all the changes he or she promises, But if Trump does win the election we may very well end up with the Great Wall of America . Who knows maybe it will become the 10th wonder of the world . ..

Six Pack and a Quarter Pounder

If losing weight and getting six pack abs were easy, everyone would be doing it! 

The general belief/school of thought/whatever you want to call it is weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise.  No I'm not saying this isn't true, because I do believe it. What I'm saying is, it sucks! Why can't it be the more you workout the more weight you lose?

Now when I started this journey to finding the healthy and happy me I know is buried somewhere under all these layers of fat I was working out 5 days a week. Three days a week I was doing 60 minutes of strength training and then two days a week I was doing 30 minutes of cardio.  I was losing 2lbs a week like clockwork and I was loving it.  This continued for about 8 months.  Then I signed up for the 12 week challenge.  My trainer (at the time, I have a new one now) and I worked out a plan, kicked up the cardio, tightened up the diet and away I went. At the end of the 12 weeks I had only lost about 10lbs.  What a disappointment! 

Enter the new trainer.... I was a little freaked out by my old trainer leaving and abandoning me, but he made it his mission to find me a replacement.  I was worried the first day that I met with my new trainer, "what if we didn't get along, what if she was mean, etc". My fears were silly, because my new trainer Ashely is awesome!!! We get along so well, and she had made me into a runner.  I look forward to our workout sessions each week.  Fast forward 9 months and this is my workout schedule Monday: Run 4 miles, 30 minute X Series Class, 45 minute Les Mills RPM. Tuesday: 60 minutes strength training, 60 minutes on the treadmill, 55 minute Les Mills Body Pump.  Wednesday: Run 6 miles, 30 minute X Series Class, 45 minute Les Mills RPM. Thursday: 60 minutes strength training with trainer, 50 minutes on the treadmill, 55 minute Les Mills Body Pump. Friday: 6 to 8 mile run. Saturday: 60 minutes strength training. Sunday: Run/Walk 4 miles. So on average I was working out 3 hours a day and not losing a single ounce.  My thought was the more more I worked out the more I would lose weight so I just kept adding exercise, but I wasn't seeing any results.  No inches lost, no weight loss, nothing.  I was spending every spare minute I had working out without seeing results and I had it in my head that I must not be working hard enough so I added pilates and athletixs (a new class taught twice a week) to my already full schedule.  I was having severe hip and quad pain on my left side from a pulled and a torn muscle and yet I kept going. I even ran a half marathon.  

About a week and a half ago I was chatting with my trainer and she said that she had brought up my weight loss problem with the head trainer.  He said that with my workout schedule being so full I was keeping my cortisol levels high and therefore preventing my body from shedding fat.  Did you know that your body sees exercise as a stressor? I didn't know that!!! So I was in effect over stressing my body and my body in return was doing the exact opposite of what I wanted it to do. 

This week we (my trainer and I) have changed things up and my schedule isn't as crazy as it once was. I've dropped a couple of classes and am only running once per week. Sunday is my rest day and I take it seriously.  I weighed myself today for the first time in 2 weeks. My weight hasn't changed yet, but I do have more energy and hopefully soon I will start seeing results. 

 

Changing Your Perspective: A Look at Body Image

As a person who has struggled with her weight her entire life, I know the stigma that goes with being overweight.  You get called “whale, blubber butt, fat cow” the list goes on and on.  It is now almost cliché to point out those endemic images of fashion and celebrities are unattainable expectations, so why then do so many of us strive to reach a lower weight and feel ashamed when we cannot? We tend to think there is obviously something wrong with us when we fail or that we haven’t worked hard enough.  We assume that when someone is not at a “healthy” BMI it is a lack of personal willpower and poor life choices.  Constant images of the “perfect” body cause them to internalize the negatives stereotypes of their current body weight/size. 

This “fat” stigma doesn’t merely exist as an undesirable social trait; it also is linked to the idea that these overweight individuals are also extremely unhealthy.  In modern society thin equals healthy and beautiful.  “Fat” equates to unhealthy, lazy, ugly, etc.  If you are overweight you are encouraged to seek treatments for your illness.  Now I am by no means saying that 510lbs should be considered healthy by any means, but the ridicule and stigma of being overweight has escalated body shaming and an individual’s ability to have any sort of positive body image.

What is body image? As you can probably guess body image is how you see yourself when you look in the mirror. Body image encompasses many things.  What you believe about your own appearance (including your memories, assumptions, and generalizations).  How you feel about your body, including your height, shape, and weight.  How you sense and control your body as you move.  How you feel in your body, not just about your body.[1] What a person perceives when they look in the mirror can be completely inaccurate in comparison to how they actually look to someone else.  Take for example a 120lb 5’6” woman, she may look in the mirror and see only imperfections. “Her legs are too skinny, her hips stick out” Or she may look in the mirror and see a “fat” woman staring back at her.  The same can be said for an over weight person, they may even avoid mirrors because of how they think they look.

“For obese adults, research has documented that individuals who experience weight stigmatization have higher rates of depression, anxiety, social isolation, and poorer psychological adjustment. Some obese adults may react to weight stigma by internalizing and accepting negative attitudes against them, which may in turn increase their vulnerability to low self-esteem. Because societal messages often perpetuate beliefs that weight is under personal control, obese persons may be less likely to challenge stereotypes because they can attempt to escape stigma by losing weight. Stigma may also have negative consequences for eating behaviors by interfering with weight loss attempts and leading some adults to eat more food in response to stigmatizing encounters. Stigma also has implications for physical health in the context of avoidance of health care services due to bias in medical settings. It is not known whether, or to what degree, stigma exacerbates poor self-care behaviors or contributes to additional complications and co-morbidities of obesity.”[2]  I’ve never liked going to the doctor and I don’t know who does really.  However, when I go to the doctor I get butterflies in my stomach, not because I think he or she is going to find something wrong, but because I know they are going to bring up my weight again and how I’m not at “a healthy BMI”.  I want to yell at them that I’m trying, I’ve lost 85lbs and I’m working hard everyday to lose more.  They don’t see the progress I’ve made and so I don’t either. I only see my failure to become perfect and healthy between doctor visits. 

In order for an obese individual to begin the change to a healthier lifestyle if they aren’t already progressing towards one starts with changing the stigma.  If an overweight person won’t go to the gym because of how they will be looked at, laughed at (even if it is self perceived and doesn’t come to light) how can they take those first few steps?   The fundamental message out there is fat people need to be shamed for their own good.  If they aren’t told they are “ugly, disgusting, [insert whatever derogatory word you would like], how will they know they should change?

Numerous studies have documented harmful weight-based stereotypes that overweight and obese individuals are lazy, weak-willed, unsuccessful, un-intelligent, lack self-discipline, have poor willpower, and are noncompliant with weight-loss treatment. These stereotypes give way to stigma, prejudice, and discrimination against obese persons in multiple domains of living, including the workplace, health care facilities, educational institutions, the mass media, and even in close interpersonal relationships.  Perhaps because weight stigma remains a socially acceptable form of bias, negative attitudes and stereotypes toward obese persons have been frequently reported by employers, coworkers, teachers, physicians, nurses, medical students, dietitians, psychologists, peers, friends, family members, and even among children aged as young as 3 years[3].  Instead of shaming why isn’t there a way to encourage the obese to become healthier? Don’t tell the obese they are unhealthy, doctors already do that and clearly it doesn’t work.  I recall every time I went to the doctors office they would mention that I needed to lose weight. I wasn’t given any suggestions on how to do it, but I was told I needed to lose weight.  Just telling someone they need to lose weight isn’t enough.  We need to find a way to help change our unhealthy habits into healthy ones.  A self-conscious obese person isn’t going to want to go to a gym where he or she feels she will be ridiculed.

I’m going to use myself as an example. I am by no means at a healthy weight, but I’m working towards it.  I’ve lost 85lbs and have another 60lbs to lose before I am considered within a healthy BMI range. What do I see when I look in the mirror? Am I shocked at the progress I have made, do I see muscles beginning to make an appearance?  Nope I see myself as the exact same size as when I started this journey.  I still go to the plus size section of stores and look for the biggest size.  In my mind I don’t see any change in my appearance. Yes I see that my face has gotten a bit thinner and I only have two chins instead of three. But when I look in the mirror all I see is everything society tells me I should be embarrassed of, the rolls of fat around my middle, my flabby arms, my “thunder thighs”, the list goes on.  I think of all the images I see in magazines and on the television of these perfectly fit models and all I think about is how I must not be working hard enough to get a body like that.  I mean I only jog 12 miles a week, lift weights three times, go to Les Mills RPM twice a week, and Les Mills Body Pump twice a week, I count every calorie that goes into my mouth, but obviously that is not enough.  When people look at me they see a “fat, lazy person, who doesn’t exercise”.  I’ve heard people yell “stop eating cheeseburgers, and try going to a gym” as I’m walking back from a run.  I’ve had others “moo” at me out of a car window as they have driven past.  Everyday I am shamed because of my body, not always by others specifically but by society in general.

The stigmatization of obesity is persistent and damaging.  It affects not only the individual struggling with her/her weight but limits the ability of the public health organizations to assist individuals with weight problems.  Ignoring the problem, ridiculing those that are obese, will not create a change.  We have to challenge societal assumptions about weight and its stigma if we are ever going to change the way people look at obesity and how the individual looks at him/herself.

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[1] https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/what-body-image

[2] http://www.obesity.org/obesity/resources/facts-about-obesity/bias-stigmatization

[3] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2866597/

Half Marathon Girl

Guess what I did this weekend???? I ran a half marathon! Was it easy? Heck no! I was in pain, I felt like I was going to throw up (which I finally did do at mile 12.5) but I did it.  I ran all but a mile and my total time was 3 hours 23 minutes.  I had nightmares the week before that I was going to finish and no one would be left.  But there were still lots of people there when I crossed that finish line and more were coming in after.  The past few days I have been trying to rest and recover from the toll the 13.10 miles took on my body.  I am recovering from injuries I sustained months ago included a torn quad and pulled hip flexor.  My legs were a veritable maze of KT tape on race day.  I'm still wearing a few patches of tape to keep things stabilized.  Yesterday I foam rolled for the first time after the race with my trainer and actually cried when I got to my quads.  Today however they are feeling much better and I am planning on a one mile recovery jog tomorrow before heading back to the gym for more stretching and foam rolling.  This week will be strange with such a minimal amount of working out but as my trainer said I need to give my body time to recover so I can come back even stronger.

The Perfect Running Weather

So yesterday I had a total Smeagol/Gollum day when it came to running.  "I should go for a run" "No!" "But we like to run" "No we don't!! We hates it!!!" This was seriously the conversation I was having with myself in my head. Which thinking back makes me wonder if I need therapy hahaha!!!
Anyway, so after work I sucked it up and hit the pavement for a 6 mile run.  The first quarter of a mile I was still thinking how much I didn't want to run and then I hit my stride and just forgot about everything else and ran.  Now my pace is a turtle running in peanut butter (mental picture is hilarious) but I kept my pace constant and finished in 1h26m.  Doesn't beat any world record but it felt amazing.  And I felt great after finishing, I think it might have been that runners high I keep hearing about. After my run I headed to the gym and tested out my new shoes in spin class. I would just like to say, WOW!!!! What a difference spin shoes make! My calves, hamstrings, quads, and butt were all on fire.  I love it!

Pictures from the ISU Ambush

Did the ISU Ambush (also known as a mud run) a few weeks ago! What a blast! So much mud and so many challenges but I loved every minute of it!